Ruby Slipper Days

Out here in the patch our windy season lasts a little longer than one month.  Our windy season begins around the first of January and ends sometime in late December.  The months of February, March, April, May, June, and July are the worst.  This year has been not an exception to the rule.  The later part of March was anything like a lamb.

Though I have grown as used to the west Texas wind as much as it is possible to, there are still days the wind has been blowing strong enough to make me hesitate to go outside.  Of course being only 110 lbs I'm a little more apt to become a human kite than others, so I am probably more aware of wind conditions than some.  And there are some days that the wind will defeat even my determined efforts at a shopping spree.

There are what I term, ruby slipper days. On these days I don't even think about shopping.  I can tell if it is such a day If I cannot get the door open because the wind blowing against it is too strong.   Once a wind velocity of this speed and strength has been established, then nothing short outfitting me in a pair of ruby slippers, or setting the house on fire around me, is going to get me outside till that wind dies some.  I am too darn old to be visiting Oz!

If I make it outside, but then suddenly find myself flattened back up against the door, then once the wind releases me from the door, I will go back inside the house and stay there untill the wind dies some.  Who wants to spend brief periods of a shopping spree hanging wind crucified from some mall wall?  Some folks may not realize it, but I do not enjoy hanging from strange walls looking like some kind of weird cross between a skinny blonde scarecrow, and a drug induced crucifixion scene.  It is undignified behavior for even such a self confessed publicity whore as I.

Shopping bags can become health hazards in windy weather.  There you are, just coming out of mall, and with bowed you head you start for where you think you parked the car, when suddenly the wind starts to fill those shopping bags like sails, and before you know it, you have just sailed backwards into the mall.  If you are lucky somebody will open the door for you before you make your unplanned reentrance.

Some of the men out here in the patch who are just bald on the top of their heads, will swear they had a full head of hair till they got caught out in a windstorm while on location out in the middle of some of our scenic, but ever shifting, sandhills.  These men swear that after losing their safety hats to a particularly strong gust of wind, with head bowed to the storm, had then struggled to the safety of their vehicle.  Having actually managed to get the door of the vehicle open, get in the vehicle without the door blowing shut on, and possibly amputating an appendage, these poor souls then discovered to their horror, they no longer had a full head of hair.

Whoever named Chicago the windy city never has been out here to west Texas.

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