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Hilarious!

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18 minutes ago
Still LMAO
Beyond Blonde's Page


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They have better things to waste their money on

Technology has really changed our world. I am of the generation who's fingers first started typing on a manual typewriter. Boy didn't those things build finger muscles using them? We sure had no problem flipping someone the bird, or waving the peace sign. Oh and those return levers! We could bitch slap with the best of them after a day of slapping those things around. Then electric typewriters came along and man we thought we were really styling! Now, we have touch screen iPads, iPods, iPhones, and ultra thin laptops that you can do nearly anything on.

We also live in a world where Big Brother, his sister, mother, father, and maybe even cousin Bubba are watching you. Especially if you like to Facebook and Tweet. Or walk down a street with a Google Cam. Or into any store or area where surveillance cameras are keeping a watchful eye perpetually open. Every time you surf the net cookies and other programs are tracking your every move. Is it any wonder as a nation, perhaps even as a world, we have become a trifle paranoid?

I know when I really think about it, it scares the hell out of me. Fortunately I'm blonde enough to not do that too often. If I did really think about it too often, I am afraid I would be out there building underground bunkers and joining the survivalists. I prefer to not worry about it, even thumb my nose at it all, go shopping on Amazon.com on a mac, with my cookie filters set as high as I can and still shop, then let them figure out what they think I'm going to want to buy next with whatever information they could glean from that shopping spree. They have NO idea what a precocious shopper I am.

Is the government watching me? Well, I was known as a radical troublemaker in the 70's. Yeah I know, hard to believe I was ever a radical troublemaker. Over the years I have continued my quiet peaceful ways by proving sometimes, the truth really does hurt, by stepping on several political toes, while simply writing the truth. Some of those toes were Presidential ones. And I have a son in the Air Force. So, what do you think? Would they really waste their time, and our tax dollars on somebody as harmless as me? It's not like I'm the kind to spark a revolution.

Personally, I think they have a lot better things to waste their time, and our tax dollars on. Things like paying researchers to play video games, study the effects of cocaine on Japanese quail, teach Chinese prostitutes how to drink responsibility, or pay a professor to study how Americans find love on the internet. No, I'm not making this stuff up. I Googled stupid things the government spends money on, and found this stuff. It was on the internet after all, so it must be true.



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A Shocking Shopping Cart Experience!

We've all had those shopping carts with a wobbly wheel that drive us nuts as we roll up and down the aisles. Today I had a different kind of shopping cart experience though. One that had nothing to do with an annoying wobbly wheel. My first hint something was wrong came shortly after I started rolling down the first HEB aisle and felt a slight tingling sensation in my fingers. At first I thought I was imagining things. Then the tingling sensation became stronger, and as good as my imagination is, I knew this was a very real tingling.
My next clue something was really amiss came when suddenly that tingling sensation turned into a not so mild shock. Now I don't mean a knock you on your butt kind of shock, but a static shock that was strong enough to make me jerk my hands off the cart rail. I figured some static electricity had somehow built up, and now that it was discharged I could safely continue rolling up and down the aisles

I made it halfway down the next aisle when I got another static jolt. This one was so strong, not only did I hear the pop, but the man passing me heard it too. Thank goodness he did, and knew why I jerked my hand back from that cart, then looked at it like it had turned a coiled rattler. I already have a problem with automatic doors that don't always open. I have in fact walked into a couple of them because I wasn't paying attention and didn't realize they were still closed. Now I was beginning to wonder if I had developed some kind of weird aura shopping carts hated.

By the time I had the 3 things on my list, as well as a few things that weren't on the list, I was rolling the cart up and down the aisles with just the palms of my hands touching the plastic on the rail you normally wrap your fingers around. I had more than 10 items, but rolled into the express lane anyway, and said, "I know there are more than 10 items, but I am not rolling this cart another foot! There is something wrong with it, and it keeps shocking me."

The nice lady looked at me a little oddly, but did not throw me out of the express lane. She called someone about the cart, and began ringing my items up. The woman she called to help with the cart showed up, exchanged carts, and began putting my groceries in another cart. I apologized for coming through the express lane with a few more than 10 items, and explained I really was getting tired of being shocked by that cart.


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About that 2nd Chanceā€¦.


Legalize the right to bitchslap stupid people
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A Must Share LOL

Intrapersonal - Dangerouly Psychotic's photo
Spark


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