Beyond Blonde

Hours of Operation: Mon - Fri 8:00am - 8:00pm

Mayhem On Vacation

A cruise vacation had seemed such a good idea at the time.  A way to relax, and keep a low profile until Calypso could be found and neutralized. So Rick had arranged for a nice Caribbean cruise, and taken some of his people along. Some went as fellow passengers, some as part of the ship's crew.


It had been smooth sailing the first half of the cruise. Tawny and Loretta had enjoyed shopping in the ports they stopped in. Often returning with arms loaded with shopping bags, happily laughing and giggling like schoolgirls over their purchases. Tawny's shipboard closet was crammed with so many clothes, Rick was convinced she could never wear them all. Though he had to admit, she was doing her best to wear each and every outfit in that crammed closet, at least once.


When she and Loretta weren't shopping in the ports they stopped in, they had enjoyed spending long lazy hours around the ship's pool in colorful skimpy swimsuits working on their tans.  Causing envy among some of the women, and dirty thoughts among all the men. In order to wear some of the other clothes they were buying, they also lounged on the deck chairs on the main or upper deck dressed in colorful tops, shorts, skirts and capri pants.  There they would relax while sipping a drink, watching the ocean go by, chatting with each other, and at times with other passengers. Sometimes Tawny would agree to eat dinner with the Captain, and/or other passengers. Which gave her a chance to wear some of her new dresses. She had even attended some of the parties and other activities onboard, as well as a few on shore activities.  There were also plenty of warm wet nights in their private hot tub where Tawny didn't wear anything at all, that Rick really enjoyed.


It was a lovely relaxing cruise, until the pirates boarded the ship, and started rounding up passengers and crew members. At first, nobody got killed. Things changed though when they tried to round up Tawny and Rick. Tawny had been lounging on the main deck with a glass of wine beside her, looking like a cruise vacation vision in a pastel green floppy brim hat with a yellow ribbon on it. The ribbon matched her bright yellow fitted top with short ruffled sleeves. Her long tanned legs were encased in crisp white capri pants, her feet in bright yellow sandals that perfectly matched her blouse, and the yellow ribbon on her hat. She looked as pretty as a picture, and as harmless as a butterfly.


Looks can be deceiving though as one of the pirates discovered when he leaned over to grab her arm, and yank her out of the lounger.  As he leaned down, Tawny sprang up, drove the heel of her hand up his nose hard enough to break it, and send bone splinters into his brain, grabbing his automatic rifle with her other hand as she did.  With rifle now in hand, she hit the deck rolling, and began firing.  


Surprise is a wonderful element when it works for you. The surprise Tawny unleashed when the pirate had tried to grab her arm worked against the pirates. For a brief couple of seconds the pirates close to her and the other passengers had been too stunned to move. A couple of seconds is all it took for Rick and his people to go into action


Rick, still managing to look dashingly handsome in a loud Hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts and sandals, took advantage of that stunned silence by disabling the pirate nearest him with a flying kick to the head, then finishing him off with the rifle he grabbed from him.  Like Tawny, the second that rifle was in hand, Rick hit the deck rolling and firing as well. Big George and Loretta had also acquired firearms by then, and like Tawny and Rick, had hit the deck rolling and firing them. Some passengers were screaming and panicking. A few passengers, normal everyday people who were perhaps more brave than smart, had followed Tawny's lead, also dropped to the deck, and were firing guns they had snatched off nearby dead pirates.  


Things were not going well for the pirates on the main deck, when all hell broke loose below deck.  The crew members who were Rick' people had quickly disabled nearby pirates, and having acquired their weapons, were now using them to clear pirates out of the way as they headed for the main deck. The real ship's crew members below deck had played monkey see, monkey do, acquired rifles off dead pirates, and were firing on those pirates still alive below deck. By then, what was left of the pirate wave on the main deck was desperately trying to return to their ship.


Tawny, who was majorly pissed off because she had blood all over her bright yellow top and white capri pants, kept firing at the receding wave of pirates muttering, "I fucking HATE it when this happens to a new outfit." When that rifle was empty she threw it down, grabbed another one, and started firing again. Rick and Big George looked at each other, shrugged their Hawaiian shirt clad shoulders, and let Tawny express her anger.  


When Tawny had finished expressing her anger, Rick and the rest his crew boarded the pirate ship.  Then put the pirates left alive to work cleaning up the bloody mess on it, and getting the pirate ship ready to sail again.  Tawny, still in her blood spattered outfit, glared at them beneath her floppy brimmed hat, had told them they could either clean up the mess they had made, or deal with her.   


Loretta, who was also now sporting a bloodstained pink top and sky blue skirt, and not any happier than Tawny about it, yelled, "Yeah! And I'm going to be right there beside her if you wanna be pirates don't help clean up the damn mess."


That's when Rick idly remarked, "I heard somewhere when the Apaches really wanted to torture prisoners, they would give them to the women."


Big George just as idly replied, "I've heard that too. I wonder if it's true?"


After that, the pirates were eager to help clean up the mess. 


By the time the authorities got there, Tawny, Rick, and the rest of their crew had left on the pirate ship.  Which then vanished, never to be seen again. The Captain, passengers, and crew of the cruise ship swore they had repelled the attack on their own, and made no mention of Tawny, Rick, or any of their crew.