Silver Bullets & Frog Legs
Seems a certain lizard has found out just how relentless we Texans can be. Of course, as a Texas gal myself, I know exactly why that lizard is in trouble now he's discovered that one frog he tried to electrocute, was from the lone star state. He just better be glad that frog wasn't from around here. If that lizard thinks Texans in general are an unforgiving bunch, he better hope he never offends a patch toad or frog. Louie does that, then he is really in trouble. Not that I have anything against that lizard. Even though that frog was from Texas, the truth is, I feel much the same way about those frogs as Louie does. And I happen to be real fond of frog legs as a form of nourishment. As far as the beer war itself is concerned, I'm apathetic about the outcome. I don't care for the taste of any brand of beer. I will drink it if it is the only source of liquid refreshment available, and I am so thirsty I simply can't stand it anymore. Larry drinks beer much more enthusiastically, and with far less stipulations, than I do. However, Larry also likes frog legs as a form of nourishment. And he enjoys hefting a few silver bullets as he eats them. So he remains phlegmatic as too Louie's current situation.
Lots of folks out here in the patch don't feel the same way we do though. That lizard better hope these beer drinking boys out here in the patch don't start plotting his downfall. He is as doomed as the Titanic if the patch boys take aim at his scaly head. These boys out here are just mean natured enough to send every rattlesnake, scorpion, tarantula, coyote, and chicken hawk they know, after that lizard if they get riled enough. Texans in general may remember the Alamo, but us patch folks have memories that go way back beyond that. When it comes to pay back time, patch folks are willing to wait till dinosaurs walk the earth again if that is what it takes to cancel a debt. In the meantime, we will stoop to unheard of lengths to hurry things along. If contacting a few coyotes, rattlesnakes, scorpions, tarantulas, and chicken hawks, helps time march on a little faster, then we are all for it.
And of course, with this area being as rural orientated as it is, we know lots of coyotes, scorpions, rattlesnakes etc. We also have a lot of folks that can shoot the eye out of a lizard, quicker than that lizard can fast glue a fly to his tongue for supper. Either way, that lizard better watch himself in the future, so he doesn't get himself into any more trouble than he is already in. That lizard ever gets these patch people turned against him he may as well fast glue a cyanide capsule to his tongue, and have last rites said as his tongue retracts, because he is going to wind up on a pair of lizard skin boots for sure.